Sunday, 6 May 2012

Humour poems

by Nancy Snipper


For a smile, an American tourist has a picture taken of herself  
standing beside a donkey 
so she can take back home a pair of asses.

Prairie Pounce  

Saskatchewan whisks you off
to plains of grain 
and fields of wheat 
that smiles reap.

The grocery store 
is a meeting core 
for peopled carts 
where friendship starts.

First, you gasp
then grin 
and finger your dimple,
"How quaint,how sweet 
demuringly simple!" 

While back in Toronto
the king of queen grain
makes it rain on the plain
and the granaries grumble.

His wife is so humble
all the time on the tour
though she showed little grace
when she ran from manure.

(she sips English tea
with a superior pinkie).

The Break-up 

When Bill was with me, everything broke
My Greek vase broke, my Cretan vase broke.
He even broke my two china urns.
My turquoise saucer broke
along with the top of the spout on the teapot. 
The chain to turn the lamp on and the one around my neck broke. 
My ivory pendant broke. 
The paint on the walls was peeling and all my light bulbs died.
When Bill left me, nothing broke …. not even my heart. 

Tom Foolery 
Never have sex with a handsome man;
he’ll leave you for another;
but if he doesn't, be sure of this …
you are not his lover!